What I do best in life
2182 words • 9 minutes
Today I would like to talk about what I do best in life. Now it might surprise those who know me that there might actually be something I can do well, but please allow me to explain.
For you see, a few weeks ago, an acquaintance challenged me to create a YouTube video about something I might be good at. He stressed that I didn’t need to be the world’s best at my chosen topic, but rather just skilled enough so that I could create a video that could educate, inform, or entertain an audience.
My friend challenged me in this way because I watch a great deal of YouTube videos…an awful lot. Yet while I indeed log a lot of screen time, I make no apology for those countless viewing hours—quite the opposite in fact. Winston Churchill once quipped that he got more out of whiskey than whiskey ever got out of him. In other words, he never let whiskey control him and I feel the same about YouTube. I constantly tell myself that I am not just vegging out but actually learning…or at least that’s what I hope!
Back in the classrooms of my day, a teacher stood in front of a blackboard and lectured for 50 minutes. There were no nifty graphics—just the teacher’s skill and imagination in bringing the subject to life. Needless to say, I much prefer the modern way and YouTube feeds my insatiable need for information.
My friend suggested that within my humble skill set, which contains an outdated computer science degree, flying as a military and civilian pilot, and time as an international affairs military officer, that surely there must be some expertise that might prove interesting to the public.
It was an interesting challenge to be sure, but one that I found to be devilishly difficult. The world is full of tremendously skilled and gifted people and so I am not putting myself down when I recognize my limits in what might garner an audience’s attention.
The easy chair and sofa to the rescue
I have more than one easy chair and sofa at home and I spend a lot of time reclining on these fine pieces of furniture. So it comes as no surprise that it was there that I mulled over my friend’s challenge. It took a while, but it finally dawned on me. I was on the sofa in the middle of the day—and the middle of the day is exactly when normal people are working hard, accomplishing things, and making progress.
Bingo! I had it! Being a lay-about is exactly what I do best. To borrow a phrase from the Black-Eyed Peas, it is “what I do and who I be.” I am an indolent par excellence.
Ah, but you say. Isn’t indolence just a big word for laziness, loafing, and lounging? (see Note 1 for great English words that begin with the letter L). Am I just being lugubrious and lethargic? Well, unfortunately many would say so, but I disagree. While indolence is not a lifestyle that suits everyone, it is perfect for me and I am definitely a willing volunteer.
You see, as contradictory as it sounds, I put great effort into what I call an “energetic indolence” in which rest and relaxation are always the ultimate goal. Sure, I’ll work hard to get things done, but that work is always in the service of quickly returning to my original position of rest. For you see, inactivity is not something I fear, but rather embrace.
Loafing is truly one of the best ways to pass the time of day
Not convinced? Still believe that indolence is just the polite word for shirking duty, being slothful, or malingering? After all, weren’t we taught that these characteristics are sinful and signs of a bad person—or at least indicative of a serious character flaw?
Such talk hurts me. What, exactly, is wrong with a lifestyle that is not constantly centered on endless work, striving, and achievement? What is wrong with taking a look at the road less traveled—even if others might consider that path a detour to “easy street?” And, by the way, I see sloths are making a comeback and are appearing on everything from t-shirts to coffee mugs so lets show a little respect for them.
Naturally, I always try to perform my assigned tasks to the best of my ability–pride and professionalism demand nothing less. Plus, as you know, it’s easier just to do something than it is to dally around trying to avoid the hard stuff. So no, to me indolence does not mean doing bad work, but rather not seeking too much work in the first place!
Nor do I wish to sound smug. Legions of hard-working people who get up early, work hard all day and then fall, exhausted, into bed at a late hour. Telling them to simply spend more time doing nothing is insulting and so I harbor, and I am quite serious here, the utmost respect for those who labor long in the vineyards.
What indolence truly is however, is the perfect and most liberating antidote to a world that demands, and then, celebrates, over-achievers and Type A personalities. The world in which “average” has a bad ring to it and everything must be dolled up in the most hyperbolic language.
In this world we are expected to do more and more to “reach the next level.” What exactly is that mythical next level? It doesn’t strike me as being a ladder to a better life, but just another rung on a never-ending hamster-wheel. Thanks, but no thanks.
Now I understand that we need the great and the good to get things done and make progress. And who can criticize the ambitious and creative souls who have deeply enriched our cultural lives? Bach or Paul McCartney anyone?
No, I am talking about a specific subset of high-achievers and productivity mavens. They are the ones who smother us like a wet blanket and make life hard for those of us who do not share their same motivations. Unfortunately, these people are powerful, and from their perches of power, they shape the public into thinking that ceaseless striving and toil is mandatory.
I admit their accomplishments are indeed impressive. They simultaneously train for marathons, earn doctorates in nano-technology, hike across Antarctica, and master the Sanskrit of the Upanishads. It’s all a bit much isn’t it?
Must I always be reminded of their greatness? Worse still, must I constantly see their best-selling books at the airport bookstore? You know the titles…such self-help blather as “15 Steps to a Better You.”
These elites make us feel guilty that we don’t have the same rocket fuel in our tanks as they do—that we are lesser beings for not constantly seeking that coveted 5-Star Amazon rating in life.
At some point, even the esteemed late Dr. Maslow would have to concede that this level of self-actualization shouldn’t be the end goal in life. Frankly, I have found that a good many of these shooting stars, as talented and gifted as they are, are staggeringly tone-deaf to the beauty and nuances of everyday life. They are, I believe it is safe to say, among the least self-reflective people imaginable because. They are constantly, holidays included, so task focused that it is hard for them to look inward. I get it—their goals are different. Yet just as I do not understand them, they do not understand me.
A life well spent or misspent?
How then do I live? Well, I am retired so I do have more free time than most people, but honestly my life is not all that different from how I have lived for decades. Here’s a short summary:
I get up in the morning around 9:30, 10, or sometimes later. I start by reading…a lot: essays, books, emails, and articles. I’ll play the drums or bongos for an hour and then try to get in a workout. I then putter about with things like home repair, mowing the lawn, or going to a doctor’s appointment.
Usually I eat lunch around 2, have a chat with friends, putter about some more, and do things like check the aviation news and sports scores. After taking care of these serious matters, I buckle down to the most important thing—checking to see if Amazon has delivered the endless supply of books and swag that I always order late at night.
Now before you dismiss this lifestyle out of hand, might I point you to two important clips from Hugh Grant’s outstanding movie About A Boy. In the first, he relates how he has so much to do during the day that he simply cannot understand how people find time to work.
In the second scene, he is chatting up a female at a New Year’s Eve party when he admits, with an air of bemusement that “I don’t actually do anything.” While some might argue that Hugh Grant’s character is self-centered and that the film is merely light entertainment, I actually find it to be a flight plan of sorts to guide me through life.
Sound dull? Well, have you ever really tried this level of inactivity? With all due respect, probably not. No worries though. That is why I am making this video—to help you. (See Note 4) There is no overnight success, but indolence can be achieved!
Silly? Then I will be serious. The Type A personalities of this world dismissively state that mine is a life without purpose because it is not centered around goals and obvious achievement.
Naturally, I disagree. The lack of purpose is exactly the point and what is “obvious achievement” anyway? I admit that my daily activities might not amount to much, but that affords me the opportunity to spend the rest of my time in a myriad of ways: Helping those in need—as there are many, working on my listening skills, and following the endless paths of interesting things to see where they might lead. For you see, what might appear to be a life without purpose allows one to discover the surprising depth and meaning that is present in the most routine aspects of our daily lives.
For I argue that indolence affords one the opportunity to enjoy the little things in life just as much as the big ones. Sure, no one wants a life of monotony and drudgery, but not being on the hamster-wheel of achievement does not mean that one is automatically condemned to the bleak house of mindless repetition—quite the opposite.
Moving forward, albeit at a snail’s pace—my pace
Tying a bow on all of this, the secret to the path of indolence is to continually remind oneself that there is always a less strenuous way to do things. If you are the type of person who absolutely must have a goal, then let it be to quickly finish any work so that you can return to a place of rest, relaxation, and leisure. Sure, work hard where necessary, but for heaven’s sake don’t make it too obvious. Remember, understatement is the classiest of all virtues, so avoid, at all costs, appearing like a striver–it really is a bad look!
Being an indolent means, first and foremost, enjoying and savoring life’s most mundane moments. The indolent appreciates their nuance, subtlety, and the opportunity for reflection that they afford. At the very least, please agree with me that avoiding a frenetic life yields contentment and, to an indolent, contentment means never being bored.
Look, I’m honest with myself. I realize that I am fighting uphill battle in my drive to enlist troops in the Army of the Indolent. Years ago, I formed an organization called Excellence In Indolence. Unfortunately, I was the only member…maybe it was too far ahead of its time.
But I nevertheless remain committed to the cause. There is nothing to sign up for. No emails, dues, or membership lists. Remember the old joke, if you don’t need anything done, I’m the man for the job!
In the meantime, from time to time rally with me under the banner of inactivity and remember the battle cry:
Hi-ho! It’s off to the to the easy chair we go!
Indolently yours,
Notes:
- The English dictionary is full of words that are perfect for repose, relaxation, rest, and rejuvenation. Surprisingly, in English many of them start with the letter L as it is the perfect alphabetical symbol for the lay-about. My homage to this most leisurely of letters: https://oldneal.com/english-as-a-language-for-the-layabout/
- The idea of indolence has been a frequent theme in literature. My favorite is Oblamov by Ivan Goncharov. It is set in the middle of the 1800s and is the story of a member of the fading property-owning class in Russia. Oblamov so loves his sleep that he even asks his man-servant to wake him in the middle of the night so that he can enjoy the pleasure of falling back to sleep. Now that is dedication to sloth!
- I recently read a book called The Price about college football. The author mentions Nick Saban who was the long-time coach at Alabama and won seven national championships. Saban and his staff often worked 7 days a week from early in the morning to 10 p.m. No vacations for the crucial staff members, of course, and Saban himself was even in the office on Christmas day. Good for him is all I can say.
- Here is the link to the video version of this article for those who are interested in viewing my slothful demeanor: https://youtu.be/tCS3or6ApCE?si=QORO7R8V9DrkhpJ0
This very much resonates. Indolence and contemplation are cozy bedfellows and worthy pursuits in fostering a high quality of life. I have always viewed Franklin/Letts of London planners as a tool of the devil. People who are heavily goal-oriented and frame their current streak of success as “winning at life” are folks I am wary of and give wide berth. Even now when people ask me what I’d like to be when I grow up, my answer is always: “unencumbered.”