The Neal Seal – Safe passage for the world’s discriminating eaters

500 words • 2 minutes

Although I was used to being far from home, this time it felt really far. Yet how could that be? I was, in many ways, in as modern a place as there is. Hardship? Not a whit of it but still… this was Tokyo in the early 1990s and my difficulty was, and still is, that I do not eat fish. 

It doesn’t matter if the fish has been baked or broiled, glazed or grilled, I simply don’t like it. I particularly dislike a fish that has skipped all the above on its journey from the sea to the dinner plate—in other words raw.

As a child I was not a finicky eater who fussed over every morsel—it is just that I disliked fish in the same way that you might not like country and western music or the writings of James Joyce. This means that when I went to work in Japan I was stymied by my inability to find well-cooked bacon, a robust salad bar, or even, as emergency rations, something like a Waffle House—a culinary crisis of Hogarthian proportions. Not having the extraordinary skills, the drive, or the dietary inclination to go native as the best and the brightest do, I instead undertook a quest equal to the pursuit for the Holy Grail. Yet it was not a golden chalice that I was seeking but rather a plate of thoroughly cooked chow. Go ahead, call me the low-brow you think I am, but I named this effort Operation Chow-Down.

Thus the birth of the Neal Seal. With some sleuthing, I found real gems among Japanese eating establishments. Those that passed my very stringent edibility requirements were bestowed the Neal Seal in honor of their efforts in purveying good eats.

The Neal Seal
The mark of a good restaurant!

Soon the Neal Seal appeared in all manner Nippon’s restaurants and eateries from Sapporo in the north of the country to Shimojishima at the southern tip of the island nation. I might have been the newest gaijin (Japanese for outsider or foreigner) in town, but I was welcomed as one who shared the desire to strap on the feedbag with the best of them.

Now I am relaunching the Neal Seal to counter those who are high-hated, sniffy, and snobby about one of the great and simple pleasures of life—good and hearty comestibles. I would like the Neal Seal to be the mark of culinary approval for discriminating eaters around the world—particularly for those who do not wish for their gustatory pleasures to come from the watery depths of the world’s rivers, lakes, and oceans (in other words fish!). The Neal Seal pays homage to good food, good service, and a relaxing and rejuvenating locale. Let the Seal be your assurance of safe passage at mealtime.

I plan to print about 200 of these stickers so if you would like a few, email me at Neal@justaverageinc.com

Bon appetite!

9 Comments

  1. David Hamilton Ulmer

    Dear Sir:

    I object to your description of Waffle House as “emergency rations.”

    Yours respectfully, etc. etc.
    A True American

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Sir: I would put forth that I do not consider Waffle House emergency rations whilst within the confines of the U.S. borders. However, when one is far from home and one cannot expect that a WH will hove into view, then one is operating in an “NEM” of nutritional emergency mode.

      No slight at all meant against WH as I consider it part of a well balanced diet to be sure.

      Reply
  2. Claudine

    Did you like mystery meat night in college?

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Hmmmm…you got me there as I must admit as I was not a big fan of it. However, if the choice were between mystery meat and fish I would have to remain loyal to my principles and go with the former 😉 Plus a healthy ration of ketchup helped!

      Reply
      • Claudine

        I ate vegetarian on those nights! Had it once freshman year and that was enough.

        Reply
  3. Phil Jones

    Ok fine, you don’t like fish eh? Well why the fluke do you have a seal on the logo. Is is just for the halibut?

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Errrr…Maybe because it is part of the joke? An attempt at ironic humour? Jocularity or jocosity? Amusement? Levity? Tomfoolery? To be a witticism? Jest”? Drollery? Whimsy?

      To be all or part of those or perhaps, as you say, for the halibut! 🙂

      Reply
  4. Bill Driver

    I actually still have a small supply of rare Neal Seals that you so generously provided several years ago. Strongly support this renewal of the eternal quest😀

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Bill,

      I consider you the Patron Saint of the Neal Seal movement. Over the years your pictures and descriptions of high-quality, relaxed, and convivial eating experiences and establishments has served as a beacon to the rest of us to slow down and bask in the moment of pulling a chair up to the table.

      Years ago I remember Steve Doss remarking on a trip that he had flown with you–to the Pacific I think. His comment was “Bill knows both how to move the mission but equally as important to eat as well as possible while on the road and to do it comfortably. It was the first time I returned from an Air Force trip feeling better than when I had left!” Proof that it is possible to live well while traveling for work.

      May you serve for many more years as the example for us to enjoy the meal whether it is a Waffle House in Fort Payne, Alabama early on a Christmas morning (my experience last year), or the highest-end eatery in New Zealand. “Zum wohl” Sir!

      Reply

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9 Comments

  1. David Hamilton Ulmer

    Dear Sir:

    I object to your description of Waffle House as “emergency rations.”

    Yours respectfully, etc. etc.
    A True American

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Sir: I would put forth that I do not consider Waffle House emergency rations whilst within the confines of the U.S. borders. However, when one is far from home and one cannot expect that a WH will hove into view, then one is operating in an “NEM” of nutritional emergency mode.

      No slight at all meant against WH as I consider it part of a well balanced diet to be sure.

      Reply
  2. Claudine

    Did you like mystery meat night in college?

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Hmmmm…you got me there as I must admit as I was not a big fan of it. However, if the choice were between mystery meat and fish I would have to remain loyal to my principles and go with the former 😉 Plus a healthy ration of ketchup helped!

      Reply
      • Claudine

        I ate vegetarian on those nights! Had it once freshman year and that was enough.

        Reply
  3. Phil Jones

    Ok fine, you don’t like fish eh? Well why the fluke do you have a seal on the logo. Is is just for the halibut?

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Errrr…Maybe because it is part of the joke? An attempt at ironic humour? Jocularity or jocosity? Amusement? Levity? Tomfoolery? To be a witticism? Jest”? Drollery? Whimsy?

      To be all or part of those or perhaps, as you say, for the halibut! 🙂

      Reply
  4. Bill Driver

    I actually still have a small supply of rare Neal Seals that you so generously provided several years ago. Strongly support this renewal of the eternal quest😀

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Bill,

      I consider you the Patron Saint of the Neal Seal movement. Over the years your pictures and descriptions of high-quality, relaxed, and convivial eating experiences and establishments has served as a beacon to the rest of us to slow down and bask in the moment of pulling a chair up to the table.

      Years ago I remember Steve Doss remarking on a trip that he had flown with you–to the Pacific I think. His comment was “Bill knows both how to move the mission but equally as important to eat as well as possible while on the road and to do it comfortably. It was the first time I returned from an Air Force trip feeling better than when I had left!” Proof that it is possible to live well while traveling for work.

      May you serve for many more years as the example for us to enjoy the meal whether it is a Waffle House in Fort Payne, Alabama early on a Christmas morning (my experience last year), or the highest-end eatery in New Zealand. “Zum wohl” Sir!

      Reply

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