Boniface the dog comments on style – Part 2
1,375 words • 7 minutes
Boniface’s friend Scrappy, a Bichon, had joined us and made herself comfortable on one of the chairs next to him. She could tell that he was deep in thought, and since she was in no hurry, she waited patiently for her turn to talk. She had been out strolling to see the downtown Christmas decorations when, by chance, she spotted us through the window of the diner. She adored Boniface and there was no way she could resist coming in for a chat. So, there she sat, sipping a raspberry seltzer water, nibbling on a beef treat, and gazing expectantly at her good friend.

“The Duke of Windsor would never have allowed it!” Boniface bleated out as if his thoughts were causing him physical pain. “He would have put a stop to it—there is no way that he would have tolerated such laxness in his presence.”

When Boniface mentions the Duke of Windsor it usually means one thing and one thing only—that his concept of how a man should dress has been impinged upon. He takes this spirit of being an Anglophile and flaneur seriously this means he is rigorous, Scrappy would say “persnickety,” about what a man should wear and how he should wear it.

Boniface believes that heaven has smiled upon him in introducing him to Cedric. Cedric is a black lab that lives in the neighborhood with a family that owns one of Birmingham’s better men’s stores—an upscale haberdashery to use the old-fashioned phrase. He and Cedric spend hours discussing the finer points of men’s attire such as what should be the proper height for cuffs on men’s trousers, the appropriate patterns for neckties, and the best weave, warp, and weft for suit jackets. If you listen to them long enough you will begin to wonder if there really can be so many differences in simple things like shirts, suits, and pairs of shoes!

But Boniface is not a snob. Even if he thinks someone has made the wrong choice, he is not the kind of pup who would criticize a man for wearing a necktie with a Full Windsor knot instead of a Half Windsor or a Four-In-Hand one. He has a keen eye for details and never loses sight of what the goal is—and that is for a man to look sharp. “Elegant but definitely understated” is how describes it. He says that a man should always have an air of relaxation about him and not look as if he just walked out of the clothing store wearing things that are too new and too formal.

He is a big fan of what the Americans call the “Ivy Look.” This post WW2 style was prevalent, first at the elite Ivy League universities, and then across the country. He also appreciates the English and Italian mixtures of high-quality tailoring but with the perfect style—a style that says “I know what I am doing here and am comfortable with it. I don’t need to show off and I am not competing with anyone.” This is a quiet confidence that is never pushy or showy.

Boniface–
He sported high sartorial standards even as a pup!

Boniface laughs until his sides hurt when he looks at the catalogs of American businessmen in the 1980s and early 90s wearing “business power suits.” (dark suit, white shirt, and obligatory red tie) To him these are akin to the comical Power Ranger costumes. They represent striving and climbing and trying so very hard. Both Boniface and Cedric prefer the air of ease associated with the old London gentlemen’s clubs of first half of the 1900s. These were unhurried places where a man could have a drink, read the evening edition of The Times, and schedule an appointment with his tailor.

Now when Scrappy heard Boniface mention the Duke of Windsor, she knew what was coming. She was no stranger to Boniface’s “speeches” on matters of style and could guess that an infraction had occurred that offended his good taste. While she did not yet know what this infraction could be, she was anxious to find out.

Although no one actually needed another history lesson about the Duke of Windsor, Boniface gave us one anyway. “As you might remember” he continued, “Edward, The Duke of Windsor, is one of my heroes. Not of course for the delicate matter of abdicating his kingship to marry the American socialite Wallis Simpson, but because, as a young man, he had revolutionized sartorial standards. He broke the rigid and dusty Victorian norms and brought looking sharp to an art—and an elegant art at that!

Scrappy looked at me with one eyebrow raised. She was obviously wondering if perhaps Boniface had gone off his rocker. He could definitely drone on at times, but he should have known that he had already told us this story about the good Duke at least a dozen times before.

Fortunately Scrappy has a very gentle touch and did not want to hurt Boniface’s feelings by telling him just to get to the point. As a Bichon she is as cute as a button and, when she looks at you with her coal black eyes, she makes you feel as if you are the most important person in the world. She can be serious when necessary, but is often mischievousness and can poke at Boniface while still looking as innocent as a new snow.

…and poke him was exactly what she did. After Boniface’s all-so-serious introduction she nudged him a bit. “Bon Bon” she said in using just one of her many nicknames for him.

“I appreciate your admiration for sartorial standards, even if some of them are now over 100 years old, but why do you insist on calling a pair of pants “trousers” all the time?” “They are just britches after all!” Ah, now that is Scrappy for you!

Boniface winced slightly. He plays along with Scrappy’s teasing, but he draws the line when it comes to using the proper terms for such garments as trousers. Pants, he says, are strictly for casual wear. As for the term britches, even though he is a Southern dog, he would never mutter the word!

“I already excuse too much when it comes to modern dress” Boniface continued—even though neither Scrappy nor I believed a word of it. “But it is an epidural that men are standing up these days and not buttoning their jackets!” “It is everywhere!” ‘The Duke of Windsor wou…”

Scrappy’s unusually loud laugh prevented him from finishing the sentence. “Bonnie Prince Boniface” she cried. “I’m sorry, but the word is “epidemic” and not “epidural!””

Boniface blushed slightly at both the nickname and his mistake with the English language. But he knew that Scrappy always has his best interests at heart and, realizing that he was safe from anything too drastic from her, he resumed his thoughts. “I see it too often these days and it is not right—not right at all.” “How could men forget this basic rule?” “Did they not learn all the way back when they were teenagers that a gentleman should always button his jacket when he stands up and only unbutton it before he sits down again?” “The poor Duke of Windsor would be turning in his grave if he knew that standards had slipped so badly.”

Scrappy cast an anxious glance at me. We had never seen Boniface take a matter of attire so personally and, as he paused, I inconspicuously signaled to the waiter to bring something for him. Even Scrappy, while giving the impression to Boniface that she was giving him her full attention, was uneasily using her right foreleg to move her phone back and forth on the table. You know these older style phones I am sure. They are the ones with the big buttons that are easier to use—especially important to Boniface and Scrappy who have paws instead of hands. Either way, poor Boniface was having a very hard time believing men could simply forget to button their jackets when they stand up!

To be continued…

4 Comments

  1. Linda

    Pants are underwear, nothing more or less – that settles that!

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      I think good Boniface would agree with you! He is of course aware of the etymology of the word pants and how it derives from pantaloons–the popular men’s garments of the 19th century, but he definitely prefers trousers as the proper term for the modern wear. Glad to see that there are those who still hold the standards high when it comes to these things!

      Reply
  2. JENNA LUCREE

    Great! I loved this one.

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Thank you

      Reply

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4 Comments

  1. Linda

    Pants are underwear, nothing more or less – that settles that!

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      I think good Boniface would agree with you! He is of course aware of the etymology of the word pants and how it derives from pantaloons–the popular men’s garments of the 19th century, but he definitely prefers trousers as the proper term for the modern wear. Glad to see that there are those who still hold the standards high when it comes to these things!

      Reply
  2. JENNA LUCREE

    Great! I loved this one.

    Reply
    • NealSchier

      Thank you

      Reply

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